I Can See For Miles
by AngelsHaveThePhoneBox
Summary: A Songfic based on I Can See For Miles by The Who. Harry looks back on his life after the war.


This is just something I had the idea of on the way to college one morning and thought that as I was _reading_ so much FanFic, I should actually _upload _some, too. So here you go...

**Disclaimer:** Nothing you may recognise belongs to me...nope, not even the song lyrics of _I can see for miles _by_ The Who_...

And thanks to my beta, Cookie Monster

_**I know you've deceived me, now here's a surprise**_

_**I know that you have 'cause there's magic in my eyes**_

I always knew, knew that I wasn't wanted or welcome in your home. I always knew you hated me for some seemingly unexplainable reason. I tried so hard for all my childhood to get you to love me, even just the tiniest bit, but nothing I did ever worked. I wasn't good enough, too _freakish_ to be loved by anyone.

Until I was 11, I always believed I deserved the beatings; I was even grateful for my cupboard – after all, freaks like me barely even deserved that. The twisted thing is I believed I was _lucky_, that my relatives were doing what was best for the freak that was their constant burden. I always knew there was something different about me; something special – unique even. I just didn't know what it was. It all seemed so painfully obvious once I started my new life at Hogwarts. There I began to see where your oh, so generous _gift_ of the cupboard came from; fear. Fear of something you never even tried to understand. You could have written to Dumbledore when you found me on your doorstep that cold November night. You, Petunia, could have explained to _him_ that not all magical people were freaks. But, no, because you couldn't get over your jealousy of your _dead_ sister – a sister who can no longer be affected by your feeling towards magic – you decided, instead, to let your bastard of a husband try to beat it out of me. I was close to forgiving you, you know. I figured – well, maybe hoped would be a better word here – that you couldn't have hated me so much that you knowingly allowed me to be beaten within an inch of my life on a regular basis, and not do anything about it. It seems I was wrong. You all detested me for something for something you didn't understand. Something I couldn't control. Something _you_ couldn't control. And I know only how much Vernon liked to be in control.

The day I gave up hoping you would love me was the day Hagrid informed me of my wizarding background. I know you didn't like me, despised me even. But to withhold something that big, something that special…and hope you'd get away with it? What were you thinking?

Well, I hope you're happy now. You finally got what you've wanted these last 16 years. My freakishness is out of your home and your life forever.

_**I can see for miles and miles**_

_**If you think I don't know about the little tricks you play**_

_**And never see you when deliberately you put things in my way**_

I liked you. I trusted you. I'd even go as far as to say I thought of you as the grandfather I never had. When I was young, stupid and naïve, it would never have crossed my mind that maybe you were planning. You were planning to 'introduce' me to Voldemort gradually, so I'd be a better fighter. Your perfect, little fighter, _'The Boy-Who-Lived'_ and all the expectations that came with it for when the time came. I knew.

_**I can see for miles and miles**_

_**Well, here's a poke at you, **_

_**You're going to choke on it, too**_

_**You're gonna lose that smile**_

_**Because all the while**_

I knew. I knew I was a pawn in your game. I knew I was being trained to be the perfect little player. I saw every move you made. And I hated you for it. But I still persevered – I pushed those misgivings aside so I would be ready to save the entire wizarding world.

Since second year, I knew you didn't care. Not about 'Just Harry'. All you saw when you looked at me was the Boy-Who-Lived, hyphens, capital letters and all. Your pawn. A player to move as you pleased, not a living, breathing _boy. _Never that because then you would be just as bad as the monster that killed my parents_. _All you were able to see was the bigger picture; it was all that mattered, the only thing that mattered. You thought my hideous childhood was a blessing in disguise. It would make me darker – more determined to fight for what I thought was right. You just hoped it wouldn't push me close enough to Voldemort to consider joining him. The ultimate revenge. What would be worse for you if, after all that training, all that setting me up for the final position in battle, what would have been worse for you if I had used it all to fight against you or knowing that it was because of your disastrous decisions that I switched sides.

I never would have done it, though. Not ever. You know that, deep down, but it wouldn't stop bothering you. 'What if he had? What if I life I subjected him to just made it all worse?' I knew I was just a pawn in your game, which made it all so mach harder to reject Voldemort. You can live in peace, old man. I fought for you. And now I have the peace that I sought for sixteen long, hard years.

_**I can see for miles and miles**_

_**You took advantage of all my trust in you when I was so far away**_

I don't know if I ever fully trusted you, until I watched your memories of Lily, though it was of course too late by then.

In my fifth year, I had hoped I could trust you. I literally put Sirius' life in your hands – I was banking on your ability to decipher an obscure message. But it seems as though that trust wasn't enough. Not enough to save Sirius. All through Hogwarts I trusted Dumbledore. I trusted him about everyone else – that was, until he refused to look at me. What had I done wrong? That connection between us fled the day he rebuffed my pleas for him to teach me Occlumency instead of you. Irrational I know, but that severed trust, combined with my seemingly unsupported trust in you took a life. I should have believed you; that, as a member of the Order and an ex-schoolmate of Sirius', you would understand.

I should have realised that throughout my years among magic you have saved my life numerous times and not all of those times upon Dumbledore's orders. The way you never talked about my mother, but always had something degrading to say about my dad should have let me know that you didn't hate _all_ my family – just Potters Sr. and Jr.

I should have realised that, as Lily's son, you would have died to protect me – not that you'd ever admit it.

There's no need for 'should have's and 'what if's any more – there's no need to protect me now…

_**I can see for miles and miles**_

_**The Eiffel Tower and the Taj Mahal were mine to see on clear days,**_

_**You think that I would need a crystal ball to see right through the haze**_

Who needs a crystal ball or a cup of tea when I have a mad, old bat with a shiny, glass sphere instead? I could always count on you – you were always there to predict my many unpleasant ways to die. How are you feeling now? Granted, you weren't all that accurate on the _how_ part, but still, you can feel proud that you were able to 'predict' the Boy-Who-Lived-No-More's death. That brings you total up to two, now, doesn't it?

_**I can see for miles and miles**_

_**Well, here's a poke at you,**_

_**You're going to choke on it, too.**_

_**You're gonna lose that smile,**_

_**Because all the while**_

The answer was right under your – well, I would say nose… who would have thought it? The most feared wizard for decades – the taker of life, the one man who's feared across the globe – was taken down by a boy. A boy who was abused and unloved. A boy just like yourself – apart from the whole wanting-to-take-over-the-world-and-be-feared-above-all-else thing you've got going on there. A seventeen year old to your 72 and all it took was love and determination to beat you. Even if you did take me with you, you can't wreak any more damage now. The world is safe and I am freed.

_**I can see for miles and miles**_

_**I can see for miles and miles**_

And I can. I can see my friends, moving on with their life because they know I wouldn't want them to stop.

I can see the Dursleys, rejoicing at their 'loss'; celebrating the downfall of Voldemort, but for the wrong reasons.

I can see Hogwarts, still standing proud as the host of the greatest battle in centuries.

I can see it all, but best of all, I can see my parents and my godfather. We're together at last. In time the others will join us, but never again shall I lose a loved one to the reaper, never again will I be left bereft and alone in a world without love.

_**I can see for miles and miles**_


End file.
